by Brian
“If your world doesn’t allow you to dream, move to one where you can.” -Billy Idol
As our year-long apartment leases recently came to an end and we needed to answer one question… “where to next?” We started to really evaluate how far we had come. Were Dylan and Jolee really on the path to independence or did we just move co-dependence over one building?
It is impossible to say that we have not seen legitimate progress made, albeit slowly some days and relatively quickly others. Dylan and Jolee are far from perfect, but they are genuinely excited to be living on their own. They have survived many days and a few nights on their own, even at times being responsible for the care of our dog, Junior.
They have begun venturing out more on their own. They walk to Speedway and Aldi. They head out to lunch when they don’t make it themselves. And they socialize more with us, almost like our adult friends who we have planned to meet up for a meal or to watch a movie.
And most importantly, Dylan and Jolee have become much closer as siblings. They showed us that they care for each other, have each other’s back, and their unique skills are surprisingly very complimentary. Sure, we would have liked their apartment to be a little cleaner each day, for them to always remember to take their meds, or head to the grocery before they were out of food. But if we are honest, we are not perfect on these fronts either.
They are now young adults. Their story is not yet written, and the journey is certainly not over. Dylan is still working to pass his medical billing test and job coaching will be a significant part of his near-term efforts. Jolee will need to step out of her cartoon world and walk a few more dogs.
So, what is next? As I weighed potential opportunities at work and we discussed our desired family situation, it turns out that we wanted a move further out of our comfort zones. They say that Milwaukee is a smaller Chicago. I do know that Wisconsin is a very nice state and known for being well funded for special needs. Having done our homework, we have learned about their adult autistic social groups, artistic programs, and even special needs financial planning. Our real estate search includes the necessary option of very nearby townhomes or condos for Dylan and Jolee. Of course, we want them close by and plan to see them nearly every day. We also continue to want them to be as independent as possible. That is indeed what we have been hoping for with this past year’s life experiment. I cannot wait to see what life throws at us next.
“If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.” -Seth Godin, American author
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” -Paulo Coehlo, Brazilian author The Alchemist