by Brian
Most kids look forward to their birthdays. Many adults do not. I have always had a love/hate relationship with getting older. Certainly, as a kid I could not wait to be old enough to date, drive, or perhaps even drink a beer. As I get older, I find myself wanting life’s clock to stop or at least slow down significantly. The interesting thing is that none of my immediate family – Bobbie, Dylan, nor Jolee – really seem to care about aging. Their birthdays are mainly about doing the simple things that make them happy.
I may be giving away my age with this one, but when I was a little less than 10, my parents threw me an epic Star Wars Birthday. It was a sleepover with my best friends, lots of games, pizza, ice cream cake and of course a VCR viewing of the initial Star Wars movie (Episode 4 – A New Hope). And for those of you who geek out for George Lucas like me, happy early May the 4th.
For a milestone birthday, I threw Bobbie a surprise party with many of her friends. Afterwards she mentioned that the biggest surprise was that I flew her sister Mickie in to attend and stay for the entire week. I learned from this experience and for her next milestone, we skipped the party but still scheduled Mickie for a visit!
Dylan and Jolee’s birthdays are less than 12 hours from being exactly the same date in April. This meant that they shared birthday parties growing up as we leveraged a small budget and shared bouncy houses throughout their early years. They were both popular in school and many of their friends (special needs and neurotypicals) attended together. As they got older, we split up their parties and eventually they decided that other than extended family get-togethers, they did not need parties to celebrate getting one year older.
Every year, however, we check to see what each of them truly want for their birthdays. At their request, we have narrowed it down to the simple things. For 2023, here is how it went.
Dylan’s birthday was up first. His best friend since middle school who comes over to hang out nearly every week and Dylan’s first request was to line up the visit with his birthday. They decided to head to the mall (yes an actual mall) for lunch at Sbarro and to walk around for a while. Afterwards, the destinations were Portillo’s followed by dessert at Krumbl Cookie. If you don’t know what these are, Google them and you will realize Dylan has very good taste! Finally, after his friend headed back home, Dylan wanted to Chillax (Chill and Relax) without family. This gift of solitude means a lot to him and we are happy to give it to him.
Just a day later, Jolee geared up for her special day. If you have been following exiting the nest, you have realized that Jolee is a talented artist and has been creating an entire cartoon hybrid-animal world. The arrival of her present, a custom designed t-shirt highlighting her character Prince, was perfectly timed and immediately became a part of her birthday outfit. Ironically, Jolee’s last day of college classes for the semester was on her birthday and she thought that was very cool. The class celebrated her birthday and Jolee managed to win a prize at bingo. After class, we headed to Nothing Bundt Cake followed by Mod Pizza (again, Google as you deem necessary). Taking a lesson from her older brother, Jolee too decided that some downtime was the best way to wind down from her day of fun.
Bobbie spent a few hours making chocolates and candy, which are still a big hit even as our children have entered their 20’s. Honestly, a few years back I would have thought these days sounded a bit tame. What I have realized is that people should do what makes them happy. If you want 50 of your closest friends to attend your birthday bash at the beach, you should do it. If you want to enjoy a rush of adrenaline as you skydive from a perfectly good airplane, then feel free. If however, you know a few simple things that will make you happy, then why not prioritize them as the key part of your special day. And by all means, if it helps your sanity, take it from our kids and finish off your day “Chillaxing ” and unwinding all by yourself.