by Bobbie
When we decided to take this journey with the kids, we knew that there were many skills to be taught and tested to enable Dylan and Jolee to be independent. As discussed in our prior blog, We Can’t Do This Alone…Getting Help, we enlisted Nurolux to help determine where some of the strongest needs existed. For us, safety ranked at the top of our list for the kids. We could provide food, clothing, housing, and money if needed. Cleanliness is important but not life threatening. The one aspect we could not control was safety when we are not around.
Our first safety item was keeping them safe from intruders. We took several steps to help mitigate any unnecessary dangers. The apartments we chose have a locked communal door with a keypad into the building in addition to the apartment door with deadbolt lock. This provides a second line of defense against break ins and a safe area when unlocking their apartment door.
Most of us have heard at least one horror story about things that can go wrong with interactions related to police or first responders. In addition to increased anxiety, there is also potential for misunderstanding between first responders and residents about the specific situation, why they are there, and what is needed. To minimize this risk, we enrolled Dylan and Jolee in Smart911, which is a Nationwide program that helps provide first responders with resident names, disabilities, and any important information they may need including our emergency contacts. This will help the responders interact with Dylan and Jolee if there should come a time that their services are needed. We also talked to the kids about who to allow into their apartment.
Since our children had always used codes to enter our home through the garage, they were not used to carrying keys with them when they left the house. They are also prone to misplacing items. This became our second challenge. We solved this by purchasing lanyards for their keys and key covers to help identify the key’s purpose. Directly inside the front door, we hung 2 hooks for the lanyards and a sign to remind them to lock the door at all times. We spent several weeks testing them with random walk-bys where we would wiggle the door knob to make sure it was locked. We would also stand by their door as we were leaving to ensure they would lock it. Although it took several weeks, this has become routine for them.
Privacy was our next safety concern. We did not want the kids to live in darkness, so we focused them on the task of opening the blinds in the morning after dressing and closing them as it starts to get dark. This was not a routine that they picked up quickly. We would do a nightly walk by the place and could often see every part of their apartment and what they were doing. We would call as needed to remind them to close the blinds. Things finally got better after we placed “open/close the blinds” on their daily schedules.
Going places surrounding our apartments independently became the fourth safety item. The kids are verbal, but can get quite flustered around new people. Our concern was trying to find a way to let others know our kids had a medical condition and allowing them to contact us in case of emergency. Although autism is common and accepted in our community, the kids did not want everyone to know. For this, we chose to get them personalized medical alert bracelets. We allowed Dylan and Jolee to pick out their own design and placed all the information on the BACK of the bracelets. We explained to the kids how the bracelets could be used in case of an emergency such as them being too stressed to speak or if they were injured. After that, the kids seemed to understand the importance and wear them everywhere. We also made the rule that both kids had to be together if going outside at night to support each other.
Our final everyday safety concern revolved around the kitchen. Although Dylan and Jolee had both taken culinary classes in high school, we were not confident about them cooking with no one else around. Both kids have ADHD which reduces the attention span which is needed when cooking food on a gas stove. For this reason, the kids do most of their food preparation using the microwave. They will come to our apartment when they wish to make something using the oven or stove. This decision was proven to be appropriate while making cookies. Immediately after placing the cookies in the oven, Jolee went out on their patio and shut the door. Needless to say, she did not hear the timer and we needed to remove the cookies from the oven. We are looking into getting them an Instant Pot or slow cooker to increase their cooking choices.
These are just some of the steps we have taken to ensure that the kids are as safe as they can be while working on independence. We are working daily on other safety issues that arise. We are not experts, but believe this is one of the most important topics we are working on. In the interest of sharing, please feel free to leave any comments or questions you may have.